Sajak-Sajak -hasil bongkar-bongkar file lama-

19 12 2009

Sajak Satu


Saya ingin berada seperti ini bersama kamu

Berbaring berdekatan

Kaki kita saling menyilang

Lenganmu di badanku dan lenganku di badanmu

Mata kita saling bertatapan

Saling berdiam-diaman

Menyerap kenyamanan

Berjam-jam

Cinta Sejati

Cinta sejati adalah saat kamu benar-benar merasa “jatuh” cinta, saat  ketidaksempurnaan tertutup oleh rasa sayang dan kelebihan disanjung-sanjung secara sedikit berlebihan.

Cinta sejati membuat dunia hanya terasa milik kalian berdua, saat orang-orang lain hanya terlihat seperti bayang-bayang suram, dan suara-suara lain berkelebatan menghilang.

Cinta sejati adalah saat kamu tahu ia tidak sempurna, namun kamu dapat mengatakan bahwa ialah yang sempurna, untuk dirimu.

Cinta sejati adalah saat kamu tahu ia tak akan tergantikan, bahkan jika suatu saat semua ilusi tentang “kita” ini menghilang.

Cinta sejati adalah saat kamu tetap meneteskan air mata, bahkan bertahun-tahun sejak kisah kalian berlalu, tanpa keinginan untuk kembali lagi persis seperti dulu.

Cinta sejati adalah saat semua lagu cinta adalah mengenaimu tentang dia, dan semua kisah cinta adalah alternatif cerita cinta kalian berdua.

Sajak Delapan

Kamu adalah satu-satunya lelaki yang membuat saya patuh. Benar, saya tidak melebih-lebihkan. Semua orang bilang kepala saya keras, mungkin lebih keras dari batu, atau bahkan tameng peluru. Tapi saya menjadi lunak seperti agar-agar, hanya jika kata-kata itu berasal darimu. Saya jadi tidak bisa berkata-kata, pengap dan megap, karena kamu. Kamu pikir kamu tahu mengapa? Bahkan saya pun tidak tahu. Toh tidak pernah juga terucap kata-kata itu dari bibir saya, lebih-lebih bibirmu. Tak pernah. Sayangnya. Jikalau iya mungkin akan lebih nyenyak tidur saya malam ini. Mengetahui bahwa pada suatu titik di kehidupanmu, benar pernah ada saya dan kamu sebagai kita. Dengan sayang sebagai kata sambungnya.

***

Atas nama rasa bersalah karena terlalu lama ga ngepost apa2 disini.. hehe





Pidato SBY Tgl 23 November 2009

23 11 2009

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Salam sejahtera bagi kita semua

Saudara-saudara se-bangsa dan se-tanah air yang saya cintai dan saya banggakan

Dengan terlebih dahulu memanjatkan puji dan syukur ke hadirat Allah SWT Tuhan Yang Maha Kuasa serta dengan memohon ridho-Nya pada malam hari ini saya ingin menyampaikan penjelasan kepada seluruh rakyat Indonesia menyangkut dua isu penting yang berkaitan dengan penegakan hukum dan keadilan di negeri kita. Isu penting yang saya maksud adalah pertama, kasus Bank Century dan kedua kasus Sdr. Chandra M. Hamzah dan Sdr. Bibit Samad Riyanto yang keduanya telah menjadi perhatian masyarakat yang amat mengemuka. Kedua isu ini juga telah mendominasi pemberitaan di hampir semua media massa disertai dengan percakapan publik yang menyertainya, bahkan disertai pula dengan berbagai desas-desus atau rumor yang tidak mengandungi kebenaran. Oleh karena itu, selaku Kepala Negara dan Kepala Pemerintahan, malam ini saya pandang perlu untuk menjelaskan duduk persoalan serta sikap pandangan dan solusi yang perlu ditempuh terhadap kedua permasalahan tersebut.

Dalam waktu 2 minggu terakhir ini, saya sengaja menahan diri untuk tidak mengeluarkan pernyataan menyangkut Bank Century dan kasus Sdr. Chandra M. Hamzah dan Sdr. Bibit Samad Riyanto, dengan alasan:

Kesatu, menyangkut kasus Bank Century selama ini saya masih menunggu hasil Pemeriksaan Investigasi yang dilakukan oleh Badan Pemeriksa Keuangan (BPK) yang dilakukan atas permintaan DPR RI. Saya sungguh menghormati proses itu dan saya tidak ingin mengeluarkan pernyataan yang mendahului, apalagi ditafsirkan sebagai upaya mempengaruhi proses audit investigatif yang dilakukan BPK. Tadi sore saya telah bertemu dengan Ketua dan anggota BPK yang menyampaikan laporan hasil pemeriksaan investigasi atas Bank Century. Dengan demikian, malam ini tepat bagi saya untuk menyampaikan sikap dan pandangan saya berkaitan dengan kasus Bank Century tersebut.

Kedua, menyangkut kasus hukum Sdr Chandra M Hamzah dan Sdr Bibit Samad Riyanto malam ini saya pandang tepat pula untuk menyampaikan sikap pandangan dan solusi paling tepat terhadap permasalahan itu. Mengapa? Saudara-saudara masih ingat pada tanggal 2 November 2009 yang lalu dengan mencermati dinamika di lingkungan masyarakat luas yang antara lain berupa silang pendapat kecurigaan dan ketidak-percayaan atas proses penegakan hukum yang dilakukan oleh Polri dan Kejaksaan Agung, saya telah membentuk sebuah Tim Independen, yaitu Tim Independen Verifikasi Fakta dan Proses Hukum Sdr. Chandra M.Hamzah dan Sdr. Bibit Samad Riyanto. Tim Independen ini yang sering disebut Tim-8 bekerja selama 2 minggu, siang dan malam, dan akhirnya pada tanggal 17 November 2009 yang lalu secara resmi telah menyerahkan hasil kerja dan rekomendasinya kepada saya. Setelah selama 5 hari ini jajaran pemerintah, termasuk pihak Polri dan Kejaksaan Agung saya instruksikan untuk merespons hasil kerja dan rekomendasi Tim-8, maka malam hari ini secara resmi saya akan menyampaikan kepada rakyat Indonesia, apa yang sepatutnya kita laksanakan ke depan.

Saudara-saudara,

Sebelum saya masuk ke dalam inti permasalahan tentang bagaimana sebaiknya kasus Bank Century dan kasus Sdr. Chandra M. Hamzah dan Sdr. Bibit Samad Riyanto ini kita selesaikan dengan baik, saya ingin menyampaikan kepada segenap masyarakat luas bahwa cara-cara penyelesaian terhadap kasus hukum yang memiliki perhatian publik luas seperti ini mestilah tetap berada dalam koridor konstitusi hukum dan perundang-undangan yang berlaku seraya dengan sungguh-sungguh memperhatikan dan mendengarkan aspirasi dan pendapat umum. Solusi dan opsi yang kita tempuh juga harus bebas dari kepentingan pribadi, kelompok maupun golongan, tetap jernih dan rasional, serta bebas dari tekanan pihak manapun yang tidak semestinya. Dan di atas segalanya kita harus tetap bertumpu kepada dan menegakkan kebenaran dan keadilan.

Rakyat Indonesia yang saya cintai,

Sekarang saya akan menjelaskan yang pertama dulu, yaitu sikap dan pandangan saya tentang kasus Bank Century.

Yang pertama-tama harus kita pahami adalah pada saat dilakukan tindakan terhadap Bank Century tersebut, situasi perekonomian global dan nasional berada dalam keadaan krisis. Hampir di seluruh dunia terjadi goncangan keuangan dan tidak sedikit pula krisis di dunia perbankan. Banyak negara melakukan tindakan untuk menyelamatkan perbankan dan perekonomian mereka.

Pada bulan November 2008 yang lalu, apa yang dilakukan oleh pemerintah dan BI, mestilah dikaitkan dengan situasi dan konteks demikian, sehingga tidak dianggap keadaannya normal-normal saja. Kita punya pengalaman sangat pahit dan buruk 10-11 tahun lalu, ketika Indonesia mengalami rangkaian krisis yang menghancurkan perekonomian kita. Dengan demikian kebijakan yang ditempuh untuk melakukan tindakan terhadap Bank Century yang di antaranya adalah tindakan hukum terhadap para pengelola Bank Century serta penyaluran dana penyertaan modal sementara, sesungguhnya bertujuan untuk mencegah terjadinya krisis perbankan bahkan perekonomian. Meskipun ketika berlangsungnya proses pengambilan keputusan yang dilakukan oleh pihak-pihak yang memiliki kewenangan dan tugas untuk itu, saya sedang mengemban tugas di luar negeri, tetapi saya memahami situasi yang ada di tanah air beserta rangkaian upaya untuk menyelamatkan perbankan dan perekonomian kita.

Tetapi kini yang menjadi perhatian DPR RI dan berbagai kalangan masyarakat adalah :

Pertama, sejauh mana proses pengambilan keputusan dan tindakan penyaluran dana penyertaan modal sementara kepada Bank Century yang berjumlah Rp 6,7 triliun itu dinilai tepat atau ‘proper’?

Kedua, apakah ada pihak-pihak tertentu dengan kepentingannya sendiri dan bukan kepentingan negara meminta atau mengarahkan pihak pengambil keputusan dalam hal ini, Menkeu dengan jajarannya dan BI, yang memang keduanya memiliki kewenangan untuk itu?

Ketiga, apakah penyertaan modal sementara yang berjumlah Rp 6,7 triliun itu ada yang ‘bocor’ atau tidak sesuai dengan peruntukannya? Bahkan berkembang pula desas-desus, rumor, atau tegasnya fitnah yang mengatakan bahwa sebagian dana itu dirancang untuk dialirkan ke dana kampanye Partai Demokrat dan Capres SBY, fitnah yang sungguh kejam dan sangat menyakitkan.

Keempat, sejauh mana para pengelola Bank Century yang melakukan tindakan pidana diproses secara hukum, termasuk bagaimana akhirnya dana penyertaan modal sementara itu dapat kembali ke negara?

Saudara-saudara

Saya sungguh memahami munculnya sejumlah pertanyaan kritis itu yang tentunya memerlukan penjelasan dan klarifikasi dari pihak-pihak terkait. Saya pun memiliki kepedulian dan rasa ingin tahu sebagaimana yang dialami oleh masyarakat kita. Saya juga ingin keempat pertanyaan kritis menyangkut kasus Bank Century yang saya sebutkan tadi juga mendapatkan jawaban yang tegas dan benar.

Dengan telah saya terimanya hasil pemeriksaan investigasi BPK atas kasus Bank Century sore tadi, pemerintah akan segera mempelajari dan pada saatnya nanti saya akan meminta Sdri. Menteri Keuangan dengan jajarannya bersama-sama dengan pihak BI untuk memberikan penjelasan dan klarifikasinya. Saya sungguh ingin keterbukaan dan akuntabilitas dapat kita tegakkan bersama. Saya juga ingin semua desas-desus, kebohongan dan fitnah dapat disingkirkan dengan cara menghadirkan fakta dan kebenaran yang sesungguhnya.

Terhadap pemikiran dan usulan sejumlah anggota DPR RI untuk menggunakan Hak Angket terhadap Bank Century, saya menyambut dengan baik agar perkara ini mendapatkan kejelasan serta sekaligus untuk mengetahui apakah ada tindakan-tindakan yang keliru dan tidak tepat. Bersamaan dengan penggunaan Hak Angket oleh DPR RI tersebut, saya juga akan melakukan sejumlah langkah tindakan internal pemerintah, berangkat dari hasil dan temuan Pemeriksaan Investigasi BPK tersebut.

Dan yang tidak kalah pentingnya adalah percepatan proses hukum bagi para pengelola Bank Century dan segera dapat dikembalikannya dana penyertaan modal yang berjumlah Rp 6,7 triliun itu kepada negara. Saya telah menginstruksikan Jaksa Agung dan Kapolri untuk melaksanakan tugas penting ini.

Saudara-saudara,

Pada bagian kedua ini saya akan menyampaikan sikap, pendapat dan langkah tindakan apa yang perlu dilakukan menyangkut kasus hukum Sdr. Chandra M. Hamzah dan Sdr. Bibit Samad Riyanto.

Sejak awal, proses hukum terhadap 2 pimpinan KPK non-aktif ini telah menimbulkan kontroversi, pro dan kontra di kalangan masyarakat. Kecurigaan terhadap kemungkinan direkayasanya kasus ini oleh para penegak hukum juga tinggi. Dua hari yang lalu saya juga mempelajari hasil survey oleh Lembaga Survey yang kredibel yang baru saja dilakukan, yang menunjukkan bahwa masyarakat kita memang benar-benar terbelah.

Di samping saya telah mengkaji laporan dan rekomendasi Tim-8, saya juga melakukan komunikasi dengan 2 pimpinan Lembaga Tinggi Negara di wilayah ‘justice system, yaitu Sdr. Ketua Mahkamah Agung dan Sdr. Ketua Mahkamah Konstitusi. Saya juga melakukan komunikasi dengan segenap pimpinan KPK dan tentu saja saya pun telah mengundang Kapolri dan Jaksa Agung untuk mencari solusi terbaik atas kasus ini. Di luar itu, saya juga patut berterima kasih kepada para pakar hukum yang 5 hari terakhir ini, sejak Tim-8 menyampaikan rekomendasinya, juga memberikan sumbangan pemikiran kepada saya.

Dalam kaitan ini, sesungguhnya jika kita ingin mengakhiri silang pendapat mengenai apakah Sdr. Chandra M. Hamzah dan Sdr. Bibit Samad Riyanto salah atau tidak salah, maka forum atau majelis yang tepat adalah pengadilan. Semula saya memiliki pendirian seperti ini. Dengan catatan, proses penyidikan dan penuntutan mendapatkan kepercayaan publik yang kuat. Dan tentu saja proses penyidikan dan penuntutan itu ‘fair, objektif dan disertai bukti-bukti yang kuat.

Dalam perkembangannya, justru yang muncul adalah ketidakpercayaan yang besar kepada pihak Polri dan Kejaksaan Agung, sehingga telah masuk ke ranah sosial dan bahkan ranah kehidupan masyarakat yang lebih besar. Oleh karena itu, faktor yang saya pertimbangkan bukan hanya proses penegakan hukum itu sendiri, tapi juga faktor-faktor lain seperti pendapat umum, keutuhan masyarakat kita, azas manfaat, serta kemungkinan berbedanya secara hakiki antara hukum dengan keadilan.

Sebelum memilih opsi atau konstruksi penyelesaian kasus ini di luar pertimbangan faktor-faktor non-hukum tadi, saya juga menilai ada sejumlah permasalahan di ketiga Lembaga Penegak Hukum itu, yaitu di Polri, Kejaksaan Agung dan KPK. Permasalahan seperti ini tentu tidak boleh kita biarkan dan harus kita koreksi, kita tertibkan dan kita perbaiki.

Oleh karena itu, solusi dan opsi lain yang lebih baik yang dapat ditempuh adalah pihak kepolisian dan kejaksaan tidak membawa kasus ini ke pengadilan dengan tetap mempertimbangkan azas keadilan, namun perlu segera dilakukan tindakan-tindakan korektif dan perbaikan terhadap ketiga lembaga penting itu, yaitu Polri, Kejaksaan Agung dan KPK.

Solusi seperti ini saya nilai lebih banyak manfaatnya dibanding mudharatnya. Tentu saja cara yang ditempuh tetaplah mengacu kepada ketentuan perundang-undangan dan tatanan hukum yang berlaku. Saya tidak boleh dan tidak akan memasuki wilayah ini, karena penghentian penyidikan berada di wilayah Lembaga Penyidik (Polri), penghentian tuntutan merupakan kewenangan Lembaga Penuntut (Kejaksaan), serta pengenyampingan perkara melalui pelaksanaan asas oportunitas merupakan kewenangan Jaksa Agung. Tetapi sesuai dengan kewenangan saya, saya menginstruksikan kepada Kapolri dan Jaksa Agung untuk melakukan penertiban, pembenahan dan perbaikan di institusinya masing-masing berkaitan dengan kasus ini. Demikian pula saya sungguh berharap KPK juga melakukan hal yang sama di institusinya.

Rakyat Indonesia yang saya cintai dan saya banggakan.

Jika pada akhirnya, insya Allah, kasus Sdr. Chandra M. Hamzah dan Sdr. Bibit Samad Riyanto ini dapat kita selesaikan, tugas kita masih belum rampung. Justru kejadian ini membawa hikmah dan juga pelajaran sejarah bahwa reformasi nasional kita memang belum selesai, utamanya reformasi di bidang hukum. Kita semua para pencari keadilan juga merasakannya. Bahkan kalangan internasional yang sering ‘fair’ dan objektif dalam memberikan penilaian terhadap negeri kita juga menilai bahwa sektor-sektor hukum kita masih memiliki banyak kekurangan dan permasalahan. Sementara itu prestasi Indonesia di bidang demokrasi, peng-hormatan kepada HAM dan kebebasan pers mulai diakui oleh dunia. Demikian juga pembangunan kembali perekonomian pasca krisis 1998 juga dinilai cukup berhasil. Sementara itu, dunia juga menyambut baik peran internasional Indonesia pada tahun-tahun terakhir ini yang dinilai positif dan konstruktif.

Oleh karena itu, sebagaimana yang telah saya sampaikan kepada seluruh rakyat Indonesia bahwa 5 tahun mendatang penegakan hukum dan pemberantasan korupsi tetap menjadi prioritas pemerintah. Bahkan dalam program 100 hari, saya telah menetapkan gerakan Pemberantasan Mafia Hukum sebagai prioritas utama. Kita sungguh serius. Agar masyarakat bisa hidup lebih tentram, agar keadaan menjadi lebih aman dan tertib, agar perekonomian kita terus berkembang, dan agar citra Indonesia di mata dunia bertambah baik, maka reformasi di bidang hukum harus benar-benar sukses dan korupsi harus berhasil kita berantas.

Khusus untuk menyukseskan gerakan Pemberantasan Mafia Hukum, saya sedang mempersiapkan untuk membentuk Satuan Tugas di bawah Unit Kerja Presiden yang selama 2 tahun kedepan akan saya tugasi untuk melakukan upaya Pemberantasan Mafia Hukum. Saya sungguh mengharapkan dukungan dan kerja sama dari semua Lembaga Penegak Hukum, dari LSM dan Media Massa, serta dari masyarakat luas. Laporkan kepada Satgas Pemberantasan Mafia Hukum jika ada yang menjadi korban dari praktik-praktik Mafia Hukum itu, seperti pemerasan, jual-beli kasus, intimidasi dan sejenisnya.

Dalam kaitan ini, saya menyambut baik rekomendasi Tim-8 dan juga suara-suara dari masyarakat luas agar tidak ada kasus-kasus hukum, utamanya pemberantasan korupsi yang dipetieskan di KPK atau juga di Polri dan Kejaksaan Agung. Kalau tidak cukup bukti hentikan, tetapi kalau cukup bukti mesti dilanjutkan. Hal ini untuk menghindari kesan adanya diskriminasi dan tebang pilih dalam pemberantasan korupsi. Apalagi kalau pemeti-esan ini berkaitan dengan praktik-praktik Mafia Hukum tadi.

Akhirnya saudara-saudara, marilah kita terus melangkah ke depan dan bekerja lebih gigih lagi untuk menyukseskan pembangunan bangsa.

Kepada jajaran Polri, Kejaksaan Agung, KPK dan Lembaga-Lembaga penegak hukum dan pemberantas korupsi lainnya, teruslah berbenah diri untuk meningkatkan integritas dan kinerjanya. Bangun kerja sama dan sinergi yang lebih baik dan hentikan disharmoni yang tidak semestinya terjadi.

Kepada masyarakat luas di seluruh tanah air marilah kita lebih bersatu lagi dan cegah perpecahan di antara kita. Bersatu kita teguh, bercerai kita runtuh.

Semoga Allah SWT Tuhan Yang Maha Kuasa senantiasa membimbing perjalanan bangsa kita ke arah yang benar.

Wassalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh





Tek tek.. Yang gaptek yang gaptek..

29 08 2009

Ini adalah postingan pertama yang ditulis lewat hp.

Kadang gw yang gaptek ini masih terheran-heran sama cepatnya perkembangan teknologi. Kaya sekarang ini, malah bingung mau nulis apa.

Dulu waktu masih tk. 1, gw bangga banget waktu bisa nge-bluetooth gambar dr hp ke laptop, terus diupload ke fs lewat wifi kampus. Sekarang mah orang2 poto2, sekali klik langsung ke-upload ke fb. Canggih. Pas gw cerita ini ke temen malah diketawain. Rupanya yang gw anggep canggih saat itu pun udah ketinggalan jaman pada jamannya. Hahaha

Sekarang lebih keren lagi sejak orang-orang pada pake BB dan online 24/7. Kemarin contohnya, waktu tutorial. Pas ada pertanyaan yang ga bisa dijawab, semua langsung sibuk kutak-katik hp. Ada yang langsung online nyari jurnal, ada yang buka ebook yang udah terinstall di hpnya. Woooh canggih.

Gw masih rada bengong, kaget bahwa dunia udah berubah banget sejak 4 tahun lalu waktu gw pertama masuk kuliah.

Kebayang jaman dulu waktu telpon baru pertama ditemukan, orang bisa denger suara orang nun jauh disana aja udah histeris bener. Mungkin kalo orang-orang itu diimpor ke jaman sekarang, mungkin pada bengong semua ga tau mesti gimana. Yah just imagine me in ancient clothes lah.. Hahaha

Alexander Graham Bell dan Thomas Alpha Edisson pasti bangga sekali dengan kita!

Embrace the new era!!

Rgds!





One of the greatest lessons my parents ever taught me (part 2)

29 06 2009

I was in a car with couples of my friends in med school when a really interesting topic starts to spark up. A question was being asked around, “what is the most valuable lesson you learn from your mom?”

I answered without any hesitation, it was to care about other!

Ever since I was a child, one of the lessons I heart the most, what probably is the best thing my mom ever taught me was to care about other.

She would take me to markets to buy school supplies every year, and it was not for me. It was for the orphans. She would also have me giving out meals to the less fortunate every once in a while. When we have things to celebrate, like when I was accepted in me school, she would invited orphans from  around our neighborhood, and got me involved in the process. I’d be accompanying her to local market all day and bought things to wrap up as a gift to them. I remember one time we bought bathing supplies and wrap them up nicely like parcels coming out of a store. It was because she said they don’t get presents a lot, and it could’ve been their first so she wanted it to be beautiful. And it goes the same with food. She would ordered at least KFC instead of typical caterer lunch box, because she knows the kids don’t get to have it a lot. She is a giver and she always wants it to be special.

And it all paid up when she (I’m unfortunately could not be there) saw that look on their faces. The light of joy that you wouldn’t even see often in the face of the fortunate. It all paid up when she heard that the kids love the packages so much they refuse to open it up.

Up until now she still have me and my sister handing out meals to the less fortunate every once in a while. That is how she have us connected to what she tries to teach us. To care.

By letting me experience it, she shows me that true happiness comes from giving, not getting. That there are other people who would feel very blessed to have just a bit of what we have.

And she always points up that by being a doctor I would be able to give out what I have for people and society as a part of my daily routine. If it’s not material then it’ll be my knowledge and skill, and of course, compassion.

Great lesson huh?

Lucky I have her in my life!

Love you mom! :)

Rgds!





One of the greatest lessons my parents ever taught me (part 1)

28 06 2009

Thank you, God…

For letting me grow in such a wonderful family.

For giving me parents who know how to rise their children best.

The ones who put education above anything else, but You.

Indeed.

Because the older I grow, the more I know that it is education and will power that will take you higher as nothing else will.

As a child (or maybe a preteen) I-and I think everyone did- grew up with some kind of “Image of perfection” in mind. Mine was influenced by an article I read in Tempo (or was it Gatra) magazine. Back when I was in junior high. It was an interview of BJ Habibie, he was talking about his dream of leading our country to what he called a “civil society”.

His version of civil society is that Indonesia would have social equity, in which 95% of people is middle class, 3% is “the haves” and the remaining 2% is the less fortunate. The idea of civil society goes deep into my mind and it stayed there up until now, it became my ideal of what Indonesia should be. It was my utopia.

So it really breaks my heart when I start to really growing up and being able to see the reality of our beloved country.

There isn’t any equity. There really isn’t any.

And so I think…

Why do we end up this way?

What is the thing that differenciate “the haves”, and the haves none, except from money and assets?

So I look around looking for answer, and without having to travel much, I found the answer in my dad’s life. He grew up a lot  less fortunate than I am. His parents-my grandparents-was not as successful as he is now, and he had to share with his none-less-than-seven brothers and sisters.  He had to walk to his school, and if he wanted something he had to get the money himself. Me? I could just ask. Even for education, he had to find a collage that’s free of charge, although it is not something he wanted. He let go of his dream of becoming engineer to have proper education and now he gained from it.

That’s it. It was education and will power.

Go check on any successful person you know, and I bet he/she have one of those. Either he/she have proper education or great will power. And mind you, I wouldn’t count on those people who gain their wealth through inheritance and never really work. They are not successful people, their parents were.

So that is the ingredients we missed on making civil society out of Indonesia.

And unfortunately not everyone realize it, yet.

Unfortunately not everyone realize that if they wants their children to be successful, they have to make sure their children get the best education possible.

Unfortunately not everyone realize that to achieve that, sometimes sacrifices have to be made.

Unfortunately not everyone realize that most of the times it’s them, parents who have to sacrifice.

Unfortunately not every child realize that they parents sacrifice much for them to have education.

Unfortunately not every child realize that education is for their own good and school supposed to be a place to study and learn, not fight.

Unfortunately not everyone realize that he/she can’t always have what they want, most of the time they have to earn it.

Unfortunately not everyone realize that success is up for grab, that they will not get there without moving their but*s.

Unfortunately not everyone believe that-almost-everything is possible.

Well, of course you think it will be easy for me to say this. You think I’ve never been it that position. True that I’ve never been in a position where I have to choose between meals and transportation to go to school. True that I’ve never have to given up on any dreams because of financial reason. But it is not true that I never have to fought for it. I was in a position between having to get to public university, or no med school at all. Couple years ago we were not this fortunate, and seeing how much one have to spend on med school, I don’t have much option. So I fought, and I fought hard. And here I am so you must have known I won the battle.

It was never easy. And it will not be easy.

If you really want something, you fight for it. especially when it is about education.

I have my dad as living proof, so I truly believe in education and will power.

Do you?
Rgds!
ps: I’ll talk about my version of so-called-utopia someday.




I want to have that smile on my face (someday)

3 06 2009

Couple of weeks ago, I went to two wedding. The first one I attended was my neighbor’s wedding, back when I lived in Padang. It was an exquisite reception. It was quite odd though. The setting is for traditional Indonesian wedding reception,but they take some western wedding tradition such as wedding toast and first dance, which was kinda out of place. That is not my point though, what matter the most is the look on the happy couple’s face as they standing in front of all the motionless guest while doing their wedding toast. Their face are glowing with smile so bright it blinded me.

I think that’s all the wedding is about. That they, two people who are madly in love with each other, finally legalize to say that they’re actually belong to each other.

From the look on their face I know that it doesn’t matter for them that nobody else in the room do the toast, or that nobody follow their lead in their first dance. Nothing matters anymore. It’s us now, not me and you; and that’s all that matter. I know that’s all they have in mind at that time, their smile told me so.

I attended the second wedding the morning after. It was my dad’s coworker wedding ceremony. Simple, traditional islamic wedding ceremony. The setting was very simple and contrary to the former, only few people attended it. And from the way they look similar to each other, I can easily know that they’re all family. The bride was exceptionally beautiful, the dress was pretty and her make up is just the right amount and style. Only her expression bothered me.

She was not smiling! The bride wasn’t smiling on her own wedding! Don’t you think it’s a bit odd?

My mind wondering around. What could it be? What could possibly happening in her head that keeps her from smiling on her own wedding?

Well, when my mind finally become clearer, I realized that there could be a zillion possibilities about what the bride could have in mind that keeps her from smiling on her own wedding. It could simply be anxiety, which actually is common among those who are recently married. It could’ve been a more serious problem though…

Regrets?

Uncertainty?

Mourn?

Unhappiness?

Unwillingness?

Guilt?

And I have a zillion other, scarier, possibilities.

One other thing  that keep going on in my mind was, “is it a common thing that a bride isn’t smiling on her own wedding ceremony??”

Of course it’s not, I hope it’s not.

In my naive, ideal thought, wedding supposed to be a happy the single most exhilarating happy event in ones life. Think about it! After years of searching for the perfect one for you, and series of wrong guys/girls and bad dates, you’re finally, totally sure of whom you’ll be spending the rest of your life with. Isn’t the thought of having someone who’ll always-be-there-for-you-day-and-night-no-matter-what is somehow comforting?

Yes I know that marriage is not a happily-ever-after as cinderella had, but isn’t at least knowing that there’s one person who is as willing as you to make it through is worth celebrating enough? I’m going to say Amen to that!

So why wasn’t she smiling?

Was she regrets being marring to his (now) husband?

Was she in doubt?

Was she just realized her other options for her life?

What was it? It bug me so much I have to get it out this way, writing it.

I don’t know what it was, what I DO know is I want to have THAT smile on my face someday. Just like the smile of the first bride. Smile that says I’m in my single most happy time in my life. Smile that says I have no regrets on any of my decision. Smile that lets people know that no word can describe how thankful I am to have found him (or being found by) in my life.

So who’s him again?

Rgds!





The greatest lessons I learned from my parents

31 05 2009

1.  try to be the best in everything

2. anyone else may failed, just not you

3. care about other, give back

4. if you have limited choices, take the best offer and make the best out of it

5. don’t whine

6. don’t do debt, live the way you can, there’s no need to exaggerate

7. when you have money, save some and spend some

8. things that are used are meant to be broken

9. fight for your dream

10. put your kids first, especially their education

11. buy a house

12. splurge sometimes, you deserves it

13. life may takes a bad turn, don’t whine about it. Just do what you have to do, it’ll all pay out

14. build a network, it’ll help your career a lot

15. family comes first

16. be trustworthy

17. learn from your surroundings

18. don’t forget to have fun

19. Show your kids that you love your spouse

20. don’t be stingy

21. be confident, just not too much

22. believe in yourself

23. your destiny is in your hand, so fight for it

24. read books

25. holds on to your religion

26. there’s no need to make a fuss

27. be humble, no need to brag about things

28. go on vacation regularly, save up for it

29. help your friends, they’ll be there when you need them

30. don’t fight with your sister, she’s the one who’s gonna be there when noone else would





Timing

30 05 2009

Timing is freaking tricky.

Sometimes what you want already on the tips of your finger but you can’t grab it.

Sometimes it standing right in front of you but your hands just won’t reached.

Sometimes it coming towards you but you have to turn your back on it.

Most of the time it’s not what you wish to happen but it just does.

With timing you actually can’t abort.

You have to keep going on the path you’re already on although things seems impossible. Although you know that it’s not what you want, not what you aim for. You just not being the right man (or woman) in the right time. And sometimes you just have to give up on that fact.

Yes, of course you can try to change things. If you’re brave enough, or if you’re ready to sacrifice. In this world nothing is free anymore, even dignity.

Do you even have the guts to do it?

To do things without thinking about how it may effect other?

To put yourself first, no matter what?

I can’t. I’m the kind who hopes for better timing, at least for now.

Rgds!





Being a doctor (to be)

19 05 2009

To treat often, to cure sometimes, to comfort always…

Those are wise word someone says about being a doctor. I forget who that someone is –and I’ll do my research- but reading what he said; yes, he is very wise indeed. But to be frank, the first time I heard those words, I refuse to believe it.

I come from a normal family. And by normal I mean there isn’t any doctor in my family. My dad is an accountant and my mom is a stay-at-home mom, who also studied accounting back in collage. I don’t have relatives that are doctor, the closest I am to a doctor is to a friend of my family, whom I consider my own aunt. She’s the one who persuade me to apply to medical faculty. At first I didn’t want to. My mind is set on being a psychologist or going for studying chemical engineering. Like every other student who wants to study in public university, I spent my weekend studying in a collage preparation course, and when my first try out result come back I was surprised to find out that I already passed the passing grade for chemical engineering. I was not challenged, so I look for a higher mount to climb. That is the reason why I apply to medical faculty. Not because I want to treat people, not because I want to find the cure for cancer, and not because I want to be a surgeon or dermatologist. I just want to challenged myself. At that time all I know about a doctor is he is the person you go to when you’re sick, he’ll examine you and gives you medicine so that you’ll feel better and finally cured. So, to make it short, I have no clue whatsoever about being a doctor when I apply to medical faculty.

When I then accepted, I still have no clue. I followed the lecturers, I did my assignments, I did my part in skill labs, and I still have no clue on how it is living as a doctor.

That is until I start my clinical year.

Once I started, it’s like big “oh!” and “wow!” popped up in my mind so often in huge colored balloon like it does in cartoon movies and comic books. I was like “oh! So this is how…”, “oh! So this is why…”, “wow! So this is what happen…”, “wow! So THIS is what really happening…”, etc.

How my life will be in later years starts to unravel in front of my very eyes. And those three phrases that I once have no faith in, now starts being a path of life. The true nature of being a doctor.

To treat often, to cure sometimes, to comfort always…

I learned that a doctor job is not to cure. But it’s his job to make sure you are treated the right way according to the standard procedures and latest studies. Whether the patient will be cured or not is not in his hand, it’s in God’s hand. A lot of things could go wrong and it depends on your luck whether your body will react to medicine A the same way as 95% of the population will. If you are the 5%, or even the extreme 0,1%, and the other way just won’t work on you, then we’re stuck. Can you imagine how it’d feel having to say to your patient that you’re stuck and you have no clue how to cure him? It feels as bad as being the patient who have to hear that coming out of his doctor’s mouth. The difference is that it’s not the doctor’s life who’s in line. So it’s the doctor who have the responsibilities to at least make the patient feel better and comfortable. That is the only thing a doctor can control. And that is why, my friends, to be a doctor is to treat often, to cure sometimes, and to comfort always.

I learned this mostly when I’m studying pulmonology. We had our individual patients so I get to really play doctor. I examined my patients each day, I also involved in deciding which treatment would be best for them and what further examination will the patient need. I get to know my patients well, or at least their family, since one of my patient can’t communicate well. I learned their history, their kid’s name, their hobbies, and things that makes their life worth living. There I learned the art of communicating with patient. I learned how to gain their respect, how to listen, and how to make them smile.

I also learned that you can’t always cure a patient. I came across many terminal patients and I learned how hard it is to keep up smiling in front of them and their families. I learned how depressing it is to know you have no chance or choices because you’re running out of them. I learned how to deal with it, put a smile on my face, and have them smiling back, say few good things and then go on living. Those was one of the best things I’ve ever learned in pulmonology, or even in life. Seeing the smile of a patient, and knowing that they’re smiling just because you were there, it’s just overwhelming. And I believe- no, I KNOW, that they’re smiling not because I help cured them, but because I comforted them during their most unpleasant time. And it was the best feeling in the world. That makes all the sacrifices one has to give to become a doctor, worth it.

To treat often, to cure sometimes, to comfort always…

Rgds!

See.Feel.Listen.





I’m worth a lot

18 05 2009

I copy this from my friend’s blog.

This story is so me! Go read! :)

***

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

“What kind of man are you looking for?”

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking,

‘Do you really want to know?’

Reluctantly, he said,”Yes.”

She began to expound

“As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to
ask a man what can you do for me that I can’t do for myself?
I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any
man…or woman for that matter.
I am in the position to ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’”

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to,money.

She quickly corrected his thought & stated,

“I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.”

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.

She said,

“I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I
need conversation & mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.

I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don’t
need to be unequally yoked…believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe
for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don’t
need a financial burden.

I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a
woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and
game-playing are not my idea of a strong man.

I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader and
provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must
respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I
have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him…He will find me. He will
recognize himself in me. Hey may not be able to explain the connection,
but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for
man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.”
When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said,
“You are asking a lot.”

She replied,
“I’m worth a lot” .

***

Me too, worth a lot.

And I’ll wait for someone who match all those criteria.

Rgds!